We can become parents biologically, but to live worth it is truly a matter of self education for each and every parent. Good parenting supports a child into growing into a responsible kind compassionate human being. Today's kid is tomorrow's citizen running the country, some times guiding the humanity into newer horizon of progress. Parenting is equivalent to becoming the initial teacher who would shape up the kid's motto since infancy.
A kid starts learning the most since infancy. Let me elucidate it. The speed of learning, that is, the volume of information gathered per second is maximum when the kid is in the infant stage. It keeps decreasing as he/she grows up. As the brain is getting filled with new information, the rate of understanding decreases. At the old age, he/she can't even grasp the simple function of a mobile phone. But, look at the little child. He/she learns complex operations of a mobile phone so fast !! Funny, isn't it?
Why parents should be more careful before the infant who can not even sit up properly, let alone toddle?
Infancy is the most crucial learning period. He/she will fast ingest the behaviour, language and attitude of the superiors around them. Hence, parents must not ignore this stage. Though the kid can not speak, he/she should not be ignored as an inert object. Parents must talk, behave with others with kindness, humility and love. Their language should be very refined, words well chosen showing an elevated culture. Violence, abuses are the last thing a kid should witness at this stage.
How to imbibe the attitude of unconditionally serving others in a child?
Parents often overlook the serving-others-attitude factor in a child. They even go as far as teaching the child to be selfish!!! I've noticed guardians advising kids not to share food, study materials with the peer. This is very harmful. Going forward, such children grow up into Selfish giants. They shirk responsibility of looking after their parents when they are old, helpless, infirm and treat them like garbage, some times, send them to old age homes.
Hence, in order to safeguard their own future, parents should teach kids how to be kind, compassionate and come into assistance of the people in need. It's advisable to tell, inspire kids to organise a group to distribute food, clothing which is surplus to them once every week among the poor and needy. Senior secondary standard children may go and visit the slums, remote villages with their teachers/superiors to teach basic literacy to those who still do not have the access to preliminary education.
Are we turning our children into the future's ATM Machines?
Probably and in most of the middle class strata, yes. Parents are in a rat race. They send kids to the Corporate Tutorials who sell dreams to them. The poor kid comes under the tremendous pressure of studies. Dual target of scoring well in Board exam as well as getting a prestigious seat in IIT/MBBS etc turn them into studying for 12-16 hours a day!! They ply all day between schools and tutorials !!! Their vital energy is lost. They soon go into frustration once tehy face failure. No body taught them how to tackle failure. They some times commit suicide or go out into oblivion.
What do the guardians want their kids to be?
Mostly an earning machine, is the answer. But, they fail to see through the basic purpose of living on earth. If the kid grows into an insensitive, cynical fellow, who is going to be the worst hit? Parents themselves, of course.
What is the excuse from the parents' side?
They blame it on the cut-throat-competition, their meagre living and financial insecurity which will not support the child enough if he/she fails to grab a good job.
What is the solution?
There's always a glass ceiling to any mad pursuit. One can not become successful any given field. But, every one has at least one special quality to hone and become a reckonable figure going forward. Let us understand this with an example. I know one of my students having a very good acumen in singing, but her parents are obsessed to make an MBBS/MD/MS of her. She is not good at studies in that sense. She complains that she will not be able to crack NEET exam. Of course, she might have become some one had she persued singing seriously.
Hence, parents, instead of looking at the most lucartive profession, focus on the innate quality of the child, make their researches on how to provide him/her the most traing to preen it and then link it to financial activity.
Again, let us understand the theory with the help of an example. The same girl with good singing acumen might get the best training under the best tutelege and then she might perform in her neighbourhood, among the peer, relatives, open an Youtube channel and keep floating her songs and even may go live on Facebook etc. After some time, she will gain good traction. Her viewers will increase, she will start getting offers to sing in functions, occasions etc. She will start charging premium for her performance nad who knows one day she might get a good platform and earn in Crores!!!
Conclusion:
Humanity has seen many men of wealth, power and luxury. But, we remember those who contributed to the humanity their dedication, fellow-feelings, love, guidance to a better living. We know them for their selfless pursuit to add value to living and take the civilisation forward. Parents must understand that their kids are the most priceless gift they have got. They should guide them with positive behaviour. They must nurture him/her with prudence, pragmatism and self-learning.
[By profession this author is a 38 years' experienced private tutor. Visit www.dbhattacharjee.com to know more.
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